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austen prager. 16. junior. it's your adventure.

  • demon: i possessed you
  • me: get the fuck out
  • demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
  • me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit
theonion:

clickholeofficial:

Beyoncé Makes Susan B. Anthony Look Like A Shit-Sucking Gutter Feminist

From our sister publication, ClickHole
assgod:

YOU CAN TELL HE’S SO PROUD OF HIMSELF AND SO AM I
23 hours ago

officialfrenchtoast:

cool date idea:

1. come over to my place with your dog

2. leave your dog

3. go home

(via shlooby)

2 days ago
africanamerican:

Wut
theonion:

Study Finds High School Students Retain Only One-Third Of Obsolete Curriculum Over Summer